Men do not seem to be offended by being the “son of a bitch”, this is even said as a term of endearment, but, the original bitch in question is surely the player of controversy. I can be a bitch: worked a lifetime to develop the skill even though I think the term used to describe it is offensive. And I know it is meant to intimidate me.
Yesterday, I had a woman try to faint in my presence because she was stressing out. It had been okay for her to use a game to distract an entire business but I am not permitted to call her game. The only problem in the scene was that she could not make it to the floor or even give a very good performance. But, the fact is that she got more sympathy than I. For the moment at least.
I am working with some who often goes so far off the reservation that I can’t get her to focus on the issues at hand even though our shared work is critical to both of us. When I crack the whip to get her attention, she begins a full scale lecture about the discomfort she is feeling and that we need to clear it. I hear it and I DO care but neither of us has the time to work this through yet again. Perhaps I am the only one who sees that. So I carry on.
Guess only a real bitch would act like I do…..try to do the things that will actually benefit those around even if I have to kick them into the winners circle. What’s wrong with this?
Tags: gender roles, strong women
November 18, 2007 at 2:58 am |
some women, either because of old ingrained belief or a tendency to manipulate, will subconsciously not allow themselves to be kicked into the winners circle. this is hard to watch and must be even harder to work with.
perhaps the term ‘bitch’.. as offensive as it is to some of us.. is now sadly associated with those women who exhibit maturity, responsibility and a solid work ethic.
hard won characteristics such as these deserve a kinder reference..
November 26, 2007 at 7:23 pm |
You have to remember: human beings will denigrate that which they don’t understand and, thus, that which they fear.
Men in power fear women because we don’t play by their club’s rules. They can’t anticipate what we’ll do next because we weren’t raised to be like them. An assertive, competent woman terrorizes men from the Boomer generation and before… and, probably, many men from Gen-X, too.
We also have the added “burden” of the basic play of our sexes on each other. Most men are taught by their environment and experience that women are sex objects and need to be approached on that level. It’s very hard for them to break that habit and relate to a woman in a sex-neutral way. They are truly confused by a woman who is not playing in that universe. I believe a lot of their acting out (bitch, who the fuck does she think she is?, she’s emotional) is because they can’t figure out HOW to relate to a woman in a world-neutral way.
November 26, 2007 at 7:25 pm |
One more thing: WOMEN need to be educated in this as well as men.
Your example lady… she who wanted to faint to get attention… is only playing into their confusion and dismay and making life unutterably more difficult for the rest of us.